Puffy 2.0

December 5, 2017


Remember me? Yeah, yeah…I know…it’s been an eternity since I last posted, but this Mom shit is FOR REAL.

Okay, that’s slightly an excuse, but I just need to make it more routine to update now that things are running smoothly and Mommy and Daddy are sleeping again! (thank fucking god). The days of night feedings are long behind us.

So Puff (aka: Mikey) is now 6.5 months. My obsession for every square inch of him runs too deep to describe. I eat him alive at all times.


So this little Puff Pocket had to endure a surgery yesterday to correct hydronephrosis he had in his right kidney. The short of this is that there was an obstruction – and in his case two very large obstructions – that had to be removed so that his urine could flow out of the kidney, through his new ureter, and into the bladder. If this goes untreated it could lead to kidney failure. We would never know there was anything wrong with him if we didn’t get ultrasounds during my pregnancy – we’ve actually known he’s had this since I was 21 weeks pregnant. Many times it corrects itself as the baby grows, but Puff’s didn’t (I think because the universe knew he was a SUPER STRONG baby that could withstand the surgery).

I debated sharing this on social media, because there’s nothing more horrible than people sharing bad shit about their child, but this has a happy ending, and if anyone else is pregnant and they find out their babe has this, they can rest knowing it’s very common, and the procedure to correct it is very straight forward. It also helped that we worked with one of the best Pediatric Urologists in the country (Dr. Poppas).

He had the operation yesterday morning. While it was the longest 24 hours of our lives, the surgery went great, and he was such a trooper. (def. not a pussy). We got home this morning, and now look forward to SLEEPING, SLEEPING, and some more SLEEPING.

…in the meantime, check out this little tushy monster in his “tired little tiger” hospital gown. I saved it. Duh.


Here he was pre-op. V. popular with the ladies. He played the field while he was there. Got a couple numbers. Prob won’t call anyone back.

This was leaving the hospital this morning. The look of EXHAUSTION times 10!!! He got home and took two, two hour naps. 

Doing some playing post-op…and me playing with my new iphone X, son! Portrait mode is a GAME-CHANGER.

That’s all for today folks.

I am grateful for modern medical technology…and for all of you.



Mikey: The Happy Sleeper

September 27, 2017

Hello Party People.

What the fuck is uuuuuuup?!?

So we are starting to feel like normal, functioning humans again! YAY!

Little Mikey is 4 months old and as delicious as ever. He’s very popular with the hunnies, and spits a good game. This should come as no surprise considering who his parents are. <duh>

Like all parents, we think our sugar puff is the most advanced baby genius…and wait, I’m going to get even more annoying…


That he (basically) SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!!!!!!!

There. I said it. I am officially an annoying mom. (he has two more days left of his night time bottle…he’s down to 1 oz!)

If you’re not a parent and never on plan on being one, level with me here. Imagine not getting more than two hours of sleep at a time for MONTHS. You literally MELT DOWN. My guess is that you have one, measly shitty night’s sleep and your world falls apart – at least that’s how I was before I birthed a human…Now, imagine not being in control of how much rest you can get. It literally feels like it will never end. My point is, it is a form of torture, and anything you can do to change it, you will do. (Maybe that’s why you never want a kid – and part of me doesn’t blame you. It’s no secret they can be a pain in the ass ;)).

HB and I were ridden with anxiety at night, because we couldn’t fathom feeling any more tired than we were, and we fantasized about getting just three or even four straight hours of sleep before we had to tend to the Moo…and FULL DISCLOSURE: We had help! We had a baby nurse for a month, now a nanny who comes four days a week, and my husband wakes up in the middle of the night to give the baby a bottle for me! I could not have it easier…and yet it’s still HARRRRRRRRD.

So last week, after spending 20 minutes holding a pacifier to his mouth at 4:23 a.m., only to have him wake up 10 minutes later, I decided IT WAS TIME. He needed to learn how to do this on his own. I was DONE.

But I won’t bullshit you. It wasn’t easy for US. I’ve come to the realization that when it comes to your baby and their sleep, the parents are 100% the problem. I had to get big Mikey on board…and let’s just say if it were up to him, Little Mikey would still be in his Love To Dream swaddle, sleeping in the Rock ‘N Play and still in our bedroom. Yeah, not exactly the change-initiator.

Now (because of MOI) he’s in his crib, in his own room, and as of one week ago, falls asleep by himself (without a pacifier).


Yes, I’d like a cookie for this accomplishment. A  motherfuckin’ dozen, actually.

I trusted my gut, and committed to “The Happy Sleeper” method. It’s worked beautifully so far. This is a method of cry it out, using five minute checks so your baby doesn’t become fearful, or think he’s being abandoned – although I know many people who just let the baby cry for an hour or two (no checks), never to have it happen again. So whatever you’re comfortable with, DO. Different strokes for different folks.

The first night we let him cry it out, I almost cried myself, but was pleasantly surprised when he went radio silent after just 13 minutes. I then knew that we were actually GIVING him something – allowing him the space to figure things out on his own, and know that he can fall asleep by himself. From that moment on, it’s been a GAME CHANGER! Even though he still has some nights where he wakes 3-4 times, we are much more at ease, knowing that HE can put himself back to sleep without our help.

It’s a beautiful thing.


I’d now like to discuss how, after being sleep deprived for four months, I need Botox.

True story. See below, most notably, under my left eye. I’m not fishing for compliments here. I call it as I see it, people!

The bad news is, I can’t get it (yet) because I am still breastfeeding…but I am considering some rejuvenation once that comes to an end. TBD!


That’s all for today.