July 29, 2016

Hey Hookers. What’s good?

…I made a little video for your viewing pleasure…

I also took an ugly selfie that summed up my thoughts toward this morning’s douchey weather. Thankfully, things have really turned-around.


The sun, she-is-a-shining!

Here are a few reasons why LIFE IS GOOD RIGHT NOW:

1). It’s Friday

2). I’m not working

3). I am in my element, listening to gangster rap on the rooftop.

4). It feels glorious outside = warm, breezy, sunny. 

5). I am reunited with my Honey Buns delight. 

Now, you try. Five things. FIVE.

DO IT. Don’t you dare fucking roll your eyes on me. Sack up and write.

<<<<Moment of Silence>>>>


…Well if that wasn’t a mood-booster, I don’t know what is. Gratitude works wonders. 

Now that we all realize how lucky we are to be alive and (hopefully) healthy, let’s move on…


I thought I’d take it back old school and List


1). Deep Steep all natural-Organic Coconut Vanilla body washSmells like the beach, baby! It’s perfect for the summer, and you know it’s good for you. No suspect ingredients here.

2). Osmosis Pressed Powder, SPF25: Instead of liquid sunscreen, I’ve been using this during the day when I walk around the city. (I’ll put on a higher spf when at the beach / laying in the sun). The coverage is so incredible, that I wear it at night, too! It evens out skin tone, and gives you a nice glow.

3). LaVanilla Vanilla Summer Body Spray: Have you figured out that I’m a sucker for anything vanilla-scented? Well, I AM. Cat’s out the bag. I almost exclusively wear LaVanilla scents year-round.

4). FRESH Sport Sunscreen Stick: Great, versatile product that can be used anywhere on the face (including ears). I use it on my lips the most and like the consistency.

5). Laser Hair Removal. Best money I’ve ever spent, and well-worth the investment. I don’t ever have to shave my armpits or bikini line again. My shit’s silky smooth, and yours can be too, if you can handle some discomfort for 15 minutes. Remember: It’s PERMANENT! 


That’s all I got.



What I Learned From Having A Little Person

July 20, 2016

WHAT IS UP, Babies?

Photo on 7-20-16 at 4.54 PM

I am sitting on the couch, cross-legged, wearing a pink and peach kimono-esque robe, covered in an ivory cashmere blanket…But now I’m hot as balls, so that’s going away. DELETE. Get off my vagina, blanket! 

I am also listening to the new “Namaste” playlist on Spotify. THERE IS A NAMASTE PLAYLIST. Obviously I am playing that shit. I am all about the chill vibes over here…especially after taking care of a little person for a full-week (best week ever!).

Having my Ella bella with me 24/7 was the most delicious thing on earth. Words cannot describe how much I love that little one.You can imagine my heartbreak when she left me Monday morning…Sadness-to-the-tenth-power!


I’ve attempted to sit down and write a blog for the past two days, but seriously you guys, I have been feeling very lazy and unmotivated, and you know what? I am not fighting it. I have surrendered-(I just picked a “surrender” Angel card, and this is my interpretation).

I only want to eat cookies, sleep, and watch the Real Housewives of OC, NJ, and NYC. HB will be appalled. Do not tell him. Oh, and I may or may not have watched an episode or two of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Don’t judge. I told you – I’m not in the mood to think.

But, alas, here I am. I couldn’t watch Kris Jenner picking out Toto sinks for Kylie anymore. It was time to fucking DO SOMETHING.


I came up with some observations while having my baby lover of my life here. Have at ’em:


“Tummy aches” and “sore throats” are often code for: I am nervous and don’t quite know how to interpret the feeling verbally, or simply, I don’t want to do something. On most mornings, Ells complained of a “sore throat,” or “tummy ache.” Within 5 minutes of talking her out it, it miraculously disappeared, and all was good in the hood. THANK. GOD.

Their eyes are 72,000 times bigger than their stomachs. I don’t even want to think about the food (and $$$) wasted from her not finishing meals. The only thing she consistently managed to polish off every night, was (surprise!) ice cream! LOL.

I laughed. A LOT. Little people are good for the soul, man. They are carefree and really do live in the moment. They can find the funny in all situations…most of the time.


I was fiercely protective. Mama Bear Dubie was ready to brawl with anyone who dared to mess with her cub. I also never got comfortable with her walking freely in the streets of NYC. I needed to have my hand on her back or hold her hand at all times.

Shockingly, she loved the subway, and hated taking cars! This was music to our ears, except for when we had to make three round trips/day to and from her dance intensive. We walked 38.35 miles in the span of 6 days. Not. Bad.


We watched the sickest movies of ALL TIME: Troop Beverly Hills, Mean Girls, Clueless, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, My Father The Hero, Adventures in Babysitting, Grease, My Girl, Can’t Buy Me Love.

Hot damn!

We rolled deep in emoji pillows.


She’s better at Pilates than most adults I teach. If I can get a 9 year-old to do what I say, there are no excuses, people!

She found my shoes. MODEL CITY!


Obviously there was not a lot of “me” time, but I didn’t mind it. She was my little pal and I loved having her around…Can I make myself more clear? I LOVED HAVING HER AROUND AND THINK SHE SHOULD MOVE IN WITH AUNTIE LOLA AND UNCLE MIKEY RIGHT NOW! <hint hint>.


So that’s my recap. Being an Auntie to Ella (and my other two nugglets) is truly magical. I have something to learn from them all…

We’ll finish with just one simple word:



I’m out.