Nuggets of My Life...
I just popped-in to show off the completed Consatntiner Christmas tree. (that was a lot of c's.)
I love you
Nuggets of My Life...
I just popped-in to show off the completed Consatntiner Christmas tree. (that was a lot of c's.)
I love you
Fucking A. I'm feeling all sorts of weird today. You definitely don't want to mess. Oh yes. It's that kind of day. Cross me and I'll make you very very sorry. #dubietheragingbitch
The guns are a blazing. Like, literally.
Look at those nuggets!
But at the same time, certain people and certain things make me very very happy. You just have to hope you're "that" person.
YOU, my friends all are in the clear. Breathe a sigh of relief. You can all sleep at night. You know I love you. That's why we're talking (obvs).
Before I share my phenomenal list of things I jizzed over in November, I have an announcement and a bone to pick. Get excited.
I really went outside my comfort zone here. Thought I'd give the whole nail art thing a try...I stayed conservative. I'm happy with my decision. You better like it too. Like it or get out.
I'm not very happy with my secret santa. I haven't gotten jack shit all week long. I'm using this opportunity to put them on blast...
To my Secret Santa...
So far, you're a huge disappointment. Three days have gone by and not a single clue. What the eff, man? I highly recommend you get your act together. I expect my mind to be blown over the course of the next two days...actually ONE day. You have ONE day to WOW me and make feel good, pretty and important. Shower me with compliments and, yes gifts too. The only criteria I have is that the gift be expensive. Break the $30 limit rule and then we'll be cool. Everything will be better if you do that.
Listening to me would be in your best interest.
...Annnnnnnd finally I have to share this because it made me LOL for reals.
I am still crying. I look just like that. Cannot even handle. HAAAAAAAAA. (thanks Smokes).
Okay, okay...let's jam. Hit it mother lovers...
*listed in no particular order*
1). My anniversary to my Honey Buns love of my life forever and ever. November 6th is the BOMB, yo. It's Mama J and Bobby D's anniversary, too which makes it all the more awesome. Mark that shit down in your calendars, so you can remember to send a gift next year.
2). Happy Socks. I introduced them to you yesterday. Indeed, they make me VERY happy when I wear them and when I see them on other peeps. EVERYONE needs a pair. Get some.
3). Namaste Beanie. Obviously I rock this. I am a spiritual gang-STAR. You know this.
4). Ellie. It's the gift that keeps on giving, y'all. Every month you get (2) pieces of clothing (either your choice, or they'll pick based on preferences you set) for just 50 bones! This is athleticwear I'm talking about here. Nueva Cookie is responsible for this addiction. If you want in, give me your email so I can invite you and get free loot.
5). Samurai Paintings by James Mandella. I got these two samurai paintings for HB for our anniversary. #bestgiftever
6). Pretty pens. Just cuz...they're pretty. Duh.
7). The Sopranos. This is IT for us right now. This is our jam. It took us six years to get a load of the gangster party, but we're one season deep and obsessed. Love.
8). Cartier Juste un clou ring in rose gold
Ain't got nothin' to say about this...just that it's nice. Really nice. In fact, it would look a lot nicer on my finger. <wink wink>.
9). Ja'ime Private School Girl...Holy Mofo. If you were a Summer Heights High fan, you will LUHH-UUUHHHVVV this (although I do miss Mr. G and Jonah). Chris Lilley makes everything better.
10). Rosemary Garlic Marcona Almonds from Whole Foods. De-lish!
11). Hot Lemon Water. It has become my morning routine. The first thing I put in this temple before I talk to people ALL. DAY. LONG.
12). Public School Fashion. For my gents. This is tres chic. I dig it. So should you.
13). Loose Tony. Loving this hat.
14). Fendi Furry Monster Baguettes. I can't even...
15). Justin's Dark Chocolate PB Cups. YUM. I usually enjoy two a day...sometimes more.
BOOYAH. Game's over Ninjas. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
Beautiful People of My Life...
I have to make this snappy because I need to teach, but we all know that quality trumps quantity. #truth
Today I'd like to share my ensemb with your eyeballs, becauuuuuuuuuse...
I'm wearing Happy Socks. VERY happy high socks. I'm obsessed.
Fresh to death.
...That does it for the announcements. Let's move on to the CLOVE business.
They're both anti-bacterial and an anesthetic. These little suckers contain an active component called eugenol, which is why cloves have been the subject of many health studies. Eugenol extracts can provide mild anesthesia and are anti-bacterial. It's often used in dentistry to soothe gum pain, and in conjunction with root canals or temporary fillings.
They're anti-inflammatory. Again, because of the eugenol. This volatile oil has been used in animal studies and it has shown to further reduce inflammatory symptoms by 15%-20% in subjects who already consume a diet high in anti-inflammatory foods. Cloves also have a mother load of flavanoids with also give it anti-inflammatory and anti-oxidant properties. BAD ACE.
They're an excellent source of nutrients. Cloves are jammed with manganese, Omega 3s, Vitamins C & K, fiber and are also a good source of magnesium and calcium. BOOYAH. I don't even need to explain myself here.
They're sweet, spicy and warming, and make me VERY happy especially during the Winter. They sure do HIT. THE. SPOT.
1). I LOVE THE SCENT. I LUUUUHHH-HUUUUVVV clove candles. That shit should burn all day everyday in my opinion (especially NOW, while it's nippy).
2). In cookies, oatless oatmeal, tea and coffee. A little bit goes a very long way in the clove department, so don't go bananas. A sprinkle or two will do you just fine. I add the shit to every bloody cookie recipe to kick it up a notch.
...And we're done. Game over. I love you.
Sauce Bosses of My Life...
...Best month EVER (next to March, of course).
This is happening as we speak...
What! What! #xmasmusic4eva
I hope you've all fiesta'd up your casas. And if you haven't already, get your ass on it. It will do wonderful things for you. I mean, really...think about it, how can you be in a bad mood after walking into an explosion of Christmas decorations?!? It's impossible. Impossible, I say! DO IT.
...Oki doke. Most of you got a load of the Dubes on INSTA over the week. Shit got cray. And, frankly, it was a little out of control. It was a bit excessive for my taste. I made myself nauseous. Because of this, I am giving us all a much needed @dailydubie Instagram detox for the next few days...YOU'RE WELCOME.
Boom. Next subject...
Before I give y'all the schedge of the week, I'd like to bring up, what I'm dubbing the "cussing conundrum." Mama Joan scolded me over the weekend...Let's just say she would have grounded me had I been 15 years younger. The plain and simple of it is that Joan does not approve of my excessive use of profanity when I write. <insert emoji with giant eyeballs>. Here is what I have to say about that...
1). I love you mom...
2). Everyone says shit, ass and, yes, fuck too...if not aloud, to themselves...everyone. Those who deny are LIARS.
3). I guess you could say I am unleashing a naughty beast inside me that I wasn't comfortable enough to show the world wide web until now, and I like it.
The bottom line here is this: I gotta keep my shit real all day everyday. If I didn't, the Daily Dubes wouldn't be the Daily Dubes. I am proud to give you the uncensored, imperfect Dubie...and yes, sometimes that absolutely means a shit, ass or fuck is in order.
BOOM. I've said my peace. Now, get after your...
Tuesday: Get your spice of the week right here, right now! This week we chat CLOVES! YUM. One of my favorites this time of year. I'll tell you WHY it's good for the bod and I just might included a sweet recipe, too (if you're lucky, and let's be honest, if I have enough time between my shifts). I'd also like to announce that there are only 3 more weeks left in this "spice series." Come January, I'll switch it up, but, obviously, I'm not telling what just yet. I've got to keep you interested; keep you coming back for more. Therefore, I must. keep. secrets.
Wednesday: OMIGOSH...It's a little tardy this month, but tune-in to get a load of the TOP 10 things I crushed HARD on in November. I cover the gamut - talking food, artwork, clothes, fancy pens, TV shows - EVERYTHING. It's AH.MAZE.ING. Get after it!
Thursday: It will be a #TBT of SOME sort! I'm feeling a TRACK this week, because oldschool jams are THE BOMB. Get excited.
Friday: Annnnnd, again. We'll be on a jetplane, headed to Mexico for a wedding...sooooo no new Dubes, but, yes, there will be some INSTAS...SOME.
That's all I've got. Time to kick booty.
I Love You
You've been without Dubie for far too long...I had to give you a piece because I love you. Consider yourselves lucky ducks.
..and while we're on the subject, YES, I am SO doing the whole lame, but necessary "what I'm thankful for" bit...but the abbreviated version (obvs).
...and let's be real...
...You know this shit's on all day erryday. #cantstopwontstop
A'ight, now that the necessary is over, let's move on to the good stuff, aka "the minutiae." I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you're all DYING to know and see how I spend my time here in Miami, so I've been mindful of thoroughly documenting the shenanigans.
Yes. It is tres peachy. I would also like to add that, despite the fact that there was no turkey to be had here on the island, I still managed to eat (and drink) my face off. It was fantastic. Appropriately, today I felt like a sausage when I woke up, but I have NO REGRETS. It was nothing a little walk, mat Pilates, fruit and coconut water (with lemon) couldn't fix.
...That's all I've got Suckas. It's been coo. For more Dubie updates, hit up INSTA, where you're guaranteed selfies, scenic shots and other stuff I deem worthy of your eyeballs.
HAPPY WEEK OF THANKSGIVING!
I am not going to beat around the bush here. I am so fucking starving...I am eyeballing my Dig Inn, waiting patiently for the Husband to get his ass home. Aren't I such a I nice wife? Waiting for him to come home and all...Well I've got news for you (and him) the whole "nice" bit will only last about two more minutes. I am about to lose my shit, which is why I decided to distract myself with the Dubes. But every five seconds, I stare down my dinner. I want it inside me NOW (no pun intended you naughty little readers, you)...
Okay...Thank gawwWwWd Honey Buns walked into the door just in the nick of time. <Sign of the cross>. Everything's better. Now, you can smoke your Dubie...
Puff on this, Homies...
INTERMEDIATE INTENSIVE, PART DOS, starring KHizz and her two ninjas assistants (that would be myself and @Heatherbomb) annnnnd, of course the CPNYC October 2013 apprentices! Watch them get after the chair!
Well. <pause>. It's happening, Ojos...
The pumpkins are toast, and the...
<cue some fireworks>
I just couldn't wait. <Sigh>...The deal with the husband is that I don't turn the tree lights on until December 1st, but that whole "rule" of his is already three feet out the window as far as I'm concered, and...let's be bonest, we all know that I'M THE BOSS. 'Nuff said. #Happywifehappylife.
...Oh, but that's not all...are you ready for this?...I started to listen to Christmas Music, too <cringe>. I know. I am SO busted, but I love it. I live for this shit. The Christmas season makes me so very happy.
And so Homie Omies, my treat for you this week, is to get a sneak peek of casa de Constantiner, Christmas style.
BUT! (with an emphasis on the "t") before I give your eyeballs a good time, I do have some extremely important announcements...
The first being that I had to call the fashion police on myself today. Check out the ensemb...
I should get bonus points for attempting dancer pose so you could see the ankle sock/high top chuck-thing happening, which was obviously the faux pas. Hey, it happens to us all. I have no shame.
...The second announcement I have is just a "fancy headband alert." (that was for you @heatherbomb) That shit's beautiful right? <pun intended>. Prior to wearing this, I did wonder..."will I come across as conceited wearing such a thing?" but I concluded that I really didn't give a fuck, and so I wore it. LOUD AND PROUD. I liked the color, so sue me.
...Okaaaayyyyaaayyyy...You ready to see how I do Christmas?
Get after it, Suckas!
Boom. Tree. Still needs fluffing. (just took it out of the closet, where it's been shoved into a crevice for 11 months).
Snap. The Angel.
Tree skirt. Awww, cute, right?
Some red and green plaid happening in the pillow department.
One of the 37529075297572572075297590257092 Christmas candles I'll have burning all day e'rrryday.
The tray, Christmas'd up with some Mint M&Ms (duh), fancy pens, cocktail napkins, and my favorite...a photo of my three beautiful babies from last year!
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd we're done.
That's all you get for now.
Peace. I love you. Namaste.
Party People in the Hood...
What the fudge is up?
Boy do I have a shit storm of treats for you today. Get jazzed or get out.
The first order of business is NAILS. Obviously.
Boom. Bright RED all up in yo face!
...Next, I have SOCKS. HIGH socks. Très sexual, oui?
...And finally, I have mint mother fucking M&Ms. Eight bags. 'Aint no shame in my game.
...So, for obvious reasons I am BLOODY THRILLED! SO happy right now...<sign of the cross into #Namaste> Oh yes. A transition just happened, and with FLOW because I'm a gangsta like that.
<SIGH>...So, there are your treats. Pretty damn special, right? I think so...
Now <pause>Is it time for me to talk about why Coke is "better" for you than Diet Coke? Awww shit. I just blew it. So now you know...but I guess I'll elaborate a bit more because that's how I roll, like a baller...
I'm not going to get crazy with the science/evidence here, instead I'll offer you my opinion, Daily Dubie style. My opinion should mean something because...1). I am a certified holistic health coach 2). I know my shit and 3). I'm really cool. REALLY cool.
If I'm going to keep it real, both are fucking terrible for you, let's be honest. I scold those who drink soda. I consider it poison. My beef is that they're nothing but chemicals and artificial flavors. They're fake...like for reals, they aren't made up of REAL anything = CODE RED in the Daily Dubie department = NEVER OKAY TO CONSUME.
Let's take a look at a Coke label:
Now, let's take a look at the Diet Coke label:
More or less the same-ish ingredients, HOWEVER the primary difference between the two is that Coke contains high fructose corn syrup (which is basically processed sugar) and Diet Coke contains Aspartame (artificial sweetener). Listen carefully...
Coke wins. Why? Because, even though HFCS is not healthy for the body, the body still recognizes it and uses it as fuel; it knows how to break it down. Aspartame, on the other hand is unrecognizable by the body. The body can't use it for anything (hence why it's calorie free), which then leads to the question of what, then, does our body do with it? ...Well I can't tell you what, exactly, but I can tell you the following about aspartame...
"Aspartame is of particular concern because it contains phenylalanine (50%), aspartic acid (40%) and methanol (10%), three well-recognized neurotoxins. The following symptoms have been associated with the consumption of aspartame:"
blurred vision memory loss personality changes anxiety attacks edema or swelling skin lesions
fatigue chest pain
violent episodes hyperactivity gastrointestinal disorders muscle cramps
mild to suicidal depression mood changes
numbness and tingling of extremities
...And don't "you like the taste" me. You're not five. And soon as your taste buds come down to mother earth, other stuff that's actually good for you will taste good, too.
So, do me a favor...if you're a soda drinker, please get your head out of your ass and just quit it. It will do you more good than you even know. #sodakills
Boom. We're done. I've said my peace.
I Love You. Word.