THE LIST: Baby Shit You Actually Need (0-3 months)

September 3, 2017

Well hot damn…It’s only taken me AN ENTIRE WEEK to post this! Babies are the ultimate distraction…

//

What’s up MoFos?

I’m back! …And with a baby-centric post, no less. I’ve got important shit to share with you before I force myself to stay awake for the season finale of Game of Thrones. Doesn’t HBO know that there is a girl named Laura Constantiner who has a 3-month-old and would like to hit the hay no later than 9pm? They really need to get their priorities in order over there.

Shit better be worth it

<fast-forward two days later>

It was worth it!!!

Now we have to wait another bloody YEAR for the grand finale!

:::SIGH:::

In other news, we just got Little Mikey’s newborn photos! They are everything. Ford Models called after seeing the attitude this one brings to the camera…<cue: side eye>.

…There’s plenty more where that came from.

//

I’ve been accumulating a list of stuff you actually need and that the baby will actually like the first few months. If I was privy to this when I was pregnant, I’d save a fuck load of cash and some precious New York City space.

It should be noted that (duh) all babes are different, but my little Mikey loved the following:

0-3 months: I’ve bolded MUST HAVES.

Fisher Price Rock N Play

(3) Love To Dream Swaddles

Fisher Price Bath Tub with newborn sling

(6-8) Gerber long sleeved shirts (until umbilical cord falls off)

(8-12) Short + Long sleeved white onesies

Baby Shusher (amazing for traveling/diaper bag, too).

Marpac Dohm white noise maker

(10-15) White Giggle organic burp cloths – literally THE BEST! 

Dr. Brown’s Options Bottles (4 oz. & 8 oz.)

(2-4) Avent Soothie pacifiers

Pacifier clips! 

Boon Orb Bottle Warmer

Munchkin Latch two-tiered bottle drying rack 

Dr. Brown’s bottle brush

(2 packs) Green Sprouts Bibs 

(10 pk.) Spasilk wash cloths (perfect size!)

Footless sleep gowns (open bottom / easy to change at night *Giggle runs BIG in sizing).

A&D cream

Aquaphor

Noodle + Boo Shampoo

Triple Paste rash cream

Gripe Water

Water Wipes

Chucks changing table pads

(2) Simple Wishes pumping bras

My Breast Friend + (2) Covers

New Chapter Postnatal Viatmins

Baby Bjorn bouncer with wooden toy bar

Nuna Leaf with toy bar

Tiny Love Gymini super deluxe lights & music activity mat 

(2) Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleep Suit

MilkBarn organic footed pajamas

//

That about does it. Hit me up with any ?s…next post will be adult-focused (with some sneaky pictures of LMC). I swear.

,

Mama Dubie

August 25, 2017

Well Hello There.

Remember me? D-to-the-U-B-I-E?

Yeah, well I’m back and I am officially a Mama to the cutest moo moo delight on planet earth:

MICHAEL DUBRISH CONSTANTINER aka “Little Mikey.”

He’s perfect and in the 100th percentile for everything. He has also slept through the night since birth, and I was back to my pre-baby weight the day I came home from the hospital.

Lies!!! 

…well, other than the fact that he is perfect (in my eyes).  😉

Can I just go out on a limb and say that moms are annoying. I’ll be the first person to give you my blessing to unfollow me – 99% of my posts are now Mikey-related, and I am the ultimate baby-talker to my delicious angel boy. I can’t help it. How can you speak adult to THIS FACE:

It’s literally impossible.

So three months have past…

I spent the entire first month doing nothing but crying (about everything), not sleeping and breastfeeding every two hours, around the clock. While I am glad the whole breastfeeding thing has worked out for me, it was exhausting at the beginning – it never felt like I would have a life outside of it again, but alas, I do!

Now that the moo is bigger (3 months old!!!), he eats more = he sleeps longer = WINNNNNNNNNN for Mom and Dad. (although we personally, haven’t reached the sleeping through the night milestone yet). I feel it coming soon, though! Don’t worry, like all moms, I’ll be sure to let you know when that happens. In the meantime, I’ll slap my gold collagen eye mask on and be grateful that we usually get a 6-7 hour stretch.

If I haven’t already lost my childless readers who’ve always enjoyed my pre-baby posts,  I don’t intend for this to become a mom-blog. Obviously I’ll talk about my experience with parenthood, BUT that’s not all I got going on…DUH.

On top of MILF-I-FYING (aka: getting back into shape, and staying hot for my lover boys), I’d like to think I stay interesting, outside the realm of motherhood – between you and I, I can only take so much talk on breastfeeding and sleep training – kill me. 

I’m keeping today’s post strictly introductory…So…we’re done for now.

Get lit. I love you.