Most Legit Emoji Definitions

October 29, 2014

‘Wuddup Whores?

Everyone…take THREE BIG ribcage breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth…

If you don’t know what the fuck that means, you really need to sign up for a Pilates lesson, because ribcage breathing is EVERYTHING. It will change your life (and your abs).

***

K. Now that most of us are feeling more centered and at ease, let us relinquish all control to the powers of the Dubie ganj.

<insert illustration of pipe with thick swirls of white smoke dancing off a tightly packed bowl>

But first…

GET YOUR SELFIES!!!

Photo on 10-29-14 at 11.50 AM #2 Photo on 10-29-14 at 11.50 AM

It’s hard to see, but I am wearing some very sexy pants today. Half my thighs are covered in shiny pleather. Very dominatrix…because ’tis the season to slut it up, son! Hit up BlackMilk where the options are endless.

*Note I am not paid to promote BlackMilk, but I fucking should be. A custom Dubie line needs to happen.

***

A’ight, bullshit’s over. It’s GO TIME. Hit it.

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The subject of today’s post was inspired by this fabulous Buzzfeed article I came across a few weeks ago. It was a good article, but it could have been better, so I am going to make adjustments where I see fit.

It’s no secret that I literally have the SICKEST EMOJI GAME EVER. For this reason and this reason alone, I am a very credible source, if not the most credible source one could reference when it comes to de-mystifying the meaning of emojis.

Now, open up your fucking eyeballs, take notes, then apply what you learn immediately.

YOUR MOST LEGIT EMOJI DEFINITIONS:

emoji1 2.28.46 PM

emoji2

emoji4

emoji7

emoji8

emoji12

emoji15

emoji18

emoji20

emoji22

emoji23

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BOOM. That’s all I got.

Peace Boos.

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 XOXO