French Fry

February 25, 2015

‘Sup Ballers?

My emoji game is tight as shit, today.

Photo on 2-25-15 at 12.09 PM #2Yes. THOSE ARE “WHATEVER” GIRL earrings…

Like whaaat….

Photo on 2-25-15 at 12.10 PM

***

I am eating kale and salmon right now. It’s really good. It’s really, really good. <insert crickets>

…Bitch, please! You know that is a HUGE, FAT lie and I would give my left boob for a french fry. Just a single, salty french fry. But, I have to admit…aside from needing to make weight Saturday, my abs look are looking siiiiiicccckkkkkk.

I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I do a mirror walk-by every chance I get, lift my shirt up and engage my transversus abdominals. Dancing also happens sporadically… I love the word sporadically. I learned it when I was 12, from Cher in Clueless, when she broadens Tai’s vocabulary after they do a Buns of Steel video in spandex shorts 6″ too long.

WHO REMEMBERS THAT GOLD?

Screen-Shot-2013-10-27-at-14.12.59So money.

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I don’t have much else to say, but I’ll leave you with a few (until now) undisclosed gems about yours truly…

I don’t do spreadsheets. HB does them for me, then I do the fun part and fill them in. I know…shocking.

I hate LinkedIn. I check it, maybe once a week to accept the millions of invitations I get on the reg.

I hate everything about bras – wearing them, trying them and buying them. Ew. Delete. Underwire is also OUT OF THE QUESTION.

I frequently pee in the shower…okay in the ocean too…and in pools. I totally do. Who has time to walk to the bathroom? And in a wet suit? Get out of here…

I am over the whole put-everything-in-a-mason jar thing. DELETE. MOVE ON FROM THE MASON JARS, PEOPLE. Next…

***

That’s a wrap.

Kiss Kiss Bitches…XX

peace-hands,

dubie-signature-left

Get Yo Mind Right

February 23, 2015

Wussup? Wussup?

…I am currently sucking down a Peanut Butter Split smoothie with spinach, almond milk and hemp protein from Juice Generation. It’s de-fucking-licious. Definitely deserved a fuck in there… Had my second-to-last workout this morning before my BIG COMPETITION. Yeah, buddy.

I am ready. I am ready. I am ready. I am ready. I am ready. I am ready. I am ready. 

I AM IRON. I AM IRON. I AM IRON. I AM IRON.I AM IRON. I AM IRON.I AM IRON. I AM IRON.

I woke up tired, a crabby 3 and an emo 6, on a scale of 1-10. The dot is on it’s way.

Haaaaayyyyyyy-aaaaaaayyyyyy.

This also means that I am retaining more water, which sucks a bouquet of dicks, because I gotta make weight. I’m living on the edge over here at a whopping 124 LBs. (125 is cap!). Depending on where I settle Friday, I might have to make like Channing Tatum in Foxcatcher, and spend my day sweating bullets, sipping lemon water, and eating steamed kale. Ugh. Let’s hope I’m good.

***

You didn’t think I forgot to take stupid selfies now did you?

Check it.

eyeballs

Don’t mind my bloodshot eyes and red nose. This negative degree business is a one-way ticket to looking hot as fuck…I think everyone over here would agree. 

Photo on 2-23-15 at 10.38 AM

Look! I have a mini nugget pony tail! Yay!

Photo on 2-23-15 at 10.39 AM…Speaking of little nuggets, I got to hold my Muffin’s brand new baby girl on Saturday! Eliana Grace was perfect. It took everything inside me not to eat her. But I tried. Duh.

IMG_8753HB stood an arms length away and observed.

***

Now. Toke on this to get yo mind right…

IMG_8774YES. JUST YES.

***

I’m out.

Peace Babies. Muah xx.

peace-hands,

dubie-signature-left