My emoji game is tight as shit, today.
I am eating kale and salmon right now. It’s really good. It’s really, really good. <insert crickets>
…Bitch, please! You know that is a HUGE, FAT lie and I would give my left boob for a french fry. Just a single, salty french fry. But, I have to admit…aside from needing to make weight Saturday, my abs look are looking siiiiiicccckkkkkk.
I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I do a mirror walk-by every chance I get, lift my shirt up and engage my transversus abdominals. Dancing also happens sporadically… I love the word sporadically. I learned it when I was 12, from Cher in Clueless, when she broadens Tai’s vocabulary after they do a Buns of Steel video in spandex shorts 6″ too long.
WHO REMEMBERS THAT GOLD?
I don’t have much else to say, but I’ll leave you with a few (until now) undisclosed gems about yours truly…
I don’t do spreadsheets. HB does them for me, then I do the fun part and fill them in. I know…shocking.
I hate LinkedIn. I check it, maybe once a week to accept the millions of invitations I get on the reg.
I hate everything about bras – wearing them, trying them and buying them. Ew. Delete. Underwire is also OUT OF THE QUESTION.
I frequently pee in the shower…okay in the ocean too…and in pools. I totally do. Who has time to walk to the bathroom? And in a wet suit? Get out of here…
I am over the whole put-everything-in-a-mason jar thing. DELETE. MOVE ON FROM THE MASON JARS, PEOPLE. Next…
That’s a wrap.
Kiss Kiss Bitches…XX