Laurita Gordita

September 1, 2015

What’s good, Homies?

Photo on 9-1-15 at 3.55 PM

…I am officially back in the USofmotherfuckingA!

That photo is actually dated. Since then, I decided to do away with the bun because it was hurting my head. I am now wearing a black “Thug Life” beanie to tame my shit, so I can rock it all down without looking like I recently electrocuted myself.


There is something to be said about ending vacation, and getting back home.

I                                   love                                it.

I am a creature of comfort and structure, so getting back into the game is just as refreshing (if not more) than those first few days of vacation.

Today, you can call me one of two things…

“Laurita Gordita” – the nickname I’ve given myself after spending 10 days in Mexico, not exercising once, eating every carb imaginable, and washing it down with booze E V E R Y day. Didn’t miss a day of alcohol. Duh. Who do you think I am? HAVE to be buzzin’ on vacay….


“Super Dubie” – UNoriginal…but you guys…I am bouncing off the walls. I literally feel like I am on amphetamines, but it’s really just the natural jugo de Dubie FLOW-ing (emphasis on the “w”) like cray.

For example, in the last 23 hours, I have accomplished the following:


-Cleaned out my jewelry drawer

-Did 5 loads of laundry

-Showered twice

-Got my nails done

-Slept 7 hours

-Fucked shit up at the gym

-Graded 8 written exams

-Grocery shopped

-Made lunch


-Got a facial

-Brainstormed class ideas for this week


-Made some bomb-ass peanut butter cookies…


Yeah. They look pretty baller, right?

Well, they would have been, BUT I FORGOT THE SUGAR! Maybe that happened for a reason. Didn’t stop me, though. Had 1.5 with some almond milk, SONNNNN.

Believe it or not, they’re still actually edible. I am not throwing them away.


Now, suck on this little “I’m back!”nugget of fun.

Strong quote game right here…



I’ll be back later this week to discuss…

When you don’t care, you show up as your best self…Tune in to find out how and why and what the fuck I mean.

In the meantime love life. Do things. Contribute good to society. Be cool.




August 29, 2015



Here I am! Hi! 

I’m almost naked, and loving it! …Sister to my left is in a thong and topless, so I am comparatively conservative. I need to step up the scandal. I’ll give her a run for her money tomorrow…

Look at my current view:
I’m not going to play it down. It’s fantastic. We’ve pretty much done nothing the past two days. 

Here’s a taste of the fun:


7am: I woke up, brushed my teeth, put Carmex on and cozied up in bed with my laptop. 

7:45am: I bought some workout stuff (that I need) on (20% discount-haaaaay!), got my schedule in place for next week, and liked some Facebook and Instagram posts…all the while HB was still asleep (duh).

9:30am: (HB is now up). We put on our bathing suites and douse ourselves in sunscreen and OFF! (Mother-fucking mosquitos need to DIE!). 

9:45am: Breakfast at the hotel. I order iced coffee, a mango-banana smoothie, and scrambled eggs with bacon and avocado. Gangster. 

10:30am: Jump into the water!

11:30am: Make HB take photos of me walking to and from the water. He loved it. 



12pm: Went in the water.

12:30pm: Walked the beach.

1:15: Went in the water.

1:30pm: The little exercise we did was deserving of alcohol. Caipirinha for me and Pacifico for HBizz. 

2pm: Finished my book and ordered 2nd round of cocktails. 

2:30pm: Lunch: 3 grilled snapper fish tacos with pick de gallo. My breath is very onion-y. HB wants to makeout all day long. 

3pm: Blogging to YOU! 💋


That about does it. As much as I love vacation, I cannot wait to get back hommmmmeeeeeeee! I miss all my playas…

Hasta luego,

Dubie XO