Cash Me Ousside, How Bow Dah?

January 31, 2017

Good Morning Friends.

Mama’s not feeling so hot this morning. Oy. Some mild queasiness has returned. I had a wave of it on Friday, and now again today.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 

I am attributing it to a hormonal shift (apparently around this time, there is another spike in estrogen to catch up with the progesterone) and baby growth spurt- yeah buddy! Fine, as long as my pumpkin is having a good time.

HOWEVER, IF I GET THE STOMACH BUG THAT EVERYONE SEEMS TO HAVE THESE DAYS…

Make no mistake. I WILL cut a bitch, like Danielle Peskowitz.

Here’s a tip…if you’re not feeling well, make yourself scarce…like I don’t even want to see a photo of you on Instagram, scarce. Please. I beg you. I don’t need more vomiting in my life.

Capice?

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Moving on…

I’m officially 23 weeks + 3 days. HOLLA.

Here are some facts you may or may not want to know:

I’ve gained a total of 11 pounds.

My hair looks really nice.

My skin looks really nice.

I have a very faint, tiny linea negra that spans pubic bone to belly button.

…and speaking of belly buttons, my innie is now flat.

I can still do some advanced Pilates. Duh.

Yoga is everything.

My boobs are veiny…and did I mention, YUGE?

Oh, and <earmuffs boys>…my crotch now sweats bullets. So sexy.

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That’s the skinny of the not-so-skinny journey of my pregnancy thus far.

LIFE IS GOOD.

I’m going to wrap it up for today, but next time, I’ll talk THINGS THAT ANNOY ME DURING PREGNANCY. I need another week to collect more intel. Patience.

Get ready for that fun.

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Vitamin D + A Recipe (say it out loud. It rhymes)

January 24, 2017

Wuuuuuuuduuuuuuuuuup Party People?

How are things?

We haven’t really seen the sun shine in a week, and it’s starting to get old. I NEED VITAMIN D! Baby C would like a tan…and so would Mommy. Personally, I’d take lower temperatures WITH sun, than higher without.

I might start to have SAD – seasonal affective disorder…Thank gawwwwd we’re blowing this joint at the end of February for 17 motherfuckin’ days. Oh yeah. To California and then Hawaii!

Mahalo!

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I’m 22.5 weeks with child today, and I have to say…he’s a fat little bugger-tipping the scale at over 1 pound. Thata boy! Here is the outward result of my growing human = growing Mama.

I’ve gained 10 pounds total and it doesn’t bother me one bit. I feel really good, and that’s most important. HB has also been great about showering me with compliments. He’s the best. He also understands that I can no longer participate in things I don’t like certain chores around the house, because I’m busy growing a foot and stuff.

LOL.

This is actually his little, pumpkin foot…only ultrasound picture you will get, so relish in it.  How cute are his little toesies!? …They’re very advanced feet. Like the most advanced feet ever.

I actually just stole that joke (about being too busy to do shit because I’m growing a foot) from Ali Wong. Funniest shit ever (Netflix). Bitch had me in stitches…as the Brits would say.

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Let’s see, what else? How about I share my favorite breakfast. I literally eat this EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING. It hits the spot because it’s filled with protein, low in sugar, high in fiber and high in Omega-3 fatty acids, among many things. I call it…

OATLESS OATMEAL

INGREDIENTS:

1 small (or 1/2 large) ripe banana

1/2 cup egg whites

1/4 cup almond milk (unsweetened)

1 heaping T of ground flaxseeds

dash of cinnamon

dash of himalayan sea salt

*Blend all of the above. Pour into frying pan on medium-low heat. Scramble mixture like you would eggs, until light and fluffy in texture.

TOP WITH:

2 T Organic peanut butter

2 T raw cacao nibs

1/2 T chia seeds

Sliced fruit: banana + berries

Tiny bit of high quality, lightly sweetened dark chocolate. I love Primal Chocolate.

Seriously, the BOMB. Obviously you can get creative with your toppings, but these happen to be my favorite.

Boom.

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We’ll finish with this namaste pregnant yoga person (who is my lock screen photo now).

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