10 More Days! (or less)

May 17, 2017

Good Day Mates…

Things are realllllly starting to cook over here!

For starters, Baby Boy currently looks like a beach ball in mah belly. Hello my sweet pumpkin! 

Today marks 38 weeks + 3 days. Now I can confidently say that THIS is a LEGIT bump!

To take you back, let’s revisit my first “bump” photo when I was 7 weeks pregnant and babe was the size of a blueberry.


All I see is skinny Laura. No bump in sight. :::SIGH::: Very special. I do, however, expect to look like this immediately following birth.


I mean, I definitely have goals (and a waist trainer), but I’m not so worried about getting the body back ASAP. I trust it will do what it needs to, and in due time, I’ll be ready to wear my thong bikinis.



Now <pause> a recap as to what has happened over the past few days…

1). I’ve gained 31 pounds

2). Baby is head down, facing my right side

3). He loves getting the hiccups

4). I am 2cm dilated

5). I thought my water broke Sunday…

Allow me to elaborate on that special occasion. I woke up in the middle of the night on Sunday (3am-ish) and felt some fluid leak (about a teaspoon). I got up to go pee for the 75th time, then when I laid back down in bed, I felt some more leakage. Being that it was the middle of the night and I didn’t feel more come fluid out, I decided to sleep and not call the doctor until the morning. Fast forward to 10am the next morning…I still hadn’t call the doctor -I called my mom first – duh! It was Mother’s Day! I casually mentioned to her that I thought my water broke. She told me to call doctor right away, and being the obliging daughter that I am, I did just that. Doc sent me straight to the hospital to make sure the fluid was not amniotic fluid, and my water did not break. They ran a few tests and in just under an hour, we were outta there, with Baby Boy still in-utero. Yay!

HB was convinced it was THE MOMENT WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR…but my gut told me it was a false alarm — although I did make sure to shower, blow dry and shave my legs in the event that my feeling was incorrect. 

Since then, the reality that ANY DAY now he can come, has really sunk in for me. I am a mixture of SUPER excited, EXTREMELY emotional and nervous!

We’ve never done this before. How will my labor go? Will I go naturally or have to be induced? What will my pain feel like? How will babe handle labor? When does he want to come into the world? Will he be cute? Will he have hair? Will he latch? 


Most days I feel super chill and ready, but sometimes (like today) I get this surge of anxiety, in anticipation of this MAJOR LIFE CHANGE.

Holy Shitball Central! IT’S HAPPENING. It’s really happening!

I can’t wait for you all to see our little human.


Until then.

+ Love + Namaste.

The Home Stretch: 4 More Weeks!

April 28, 2017

Hey Homies!

This will likely be my last post before Bebé…


I’ll be 36 weeks on Sunday.

WE ARE READY. Come baby come, baby, baby, come! 

Apart from the occasional emotional meltdown, I’m feeling pretty good. (Triggers vary from Real Housewives episodes to Instagram Memes –that aren’t sad whatsoever, to HB expecting me to walk 15 minutes to a subway station). True story, I gave him the silent treatment for our entire 30 minute cab ride from the Financial District to the UES on Sunday. After arguing for 10 minutes on Park Avenue, HB managed to smooth things over and my anger, begrudgingly, fizzled. Fortunately, this was the most heated argument we’ve had since the spawn of our spawn.


Husbands/Partners really need to grant a free pass to every pregnant woman in her third trimester – especially in instances where she displays erratic, unreasonable, and irrational behavior. It comes with the territory. Remember, if you have a dick..YOU AREN’T GROWING A HUMAN INSIDE YOU. Your life as you know it has not changed (yet). Meanwhile, ours has been taken over by this little person for NINE MOTHERFUCKING MONTHS (someone told me that my motherly instincts must have kicked in because me previous posts have been lacking expletives, so this is my honest attempt at rebelling and proving that I still have some fucks left inside my pregnant soul). Tee hee.


I reeeaaaalllllly want to show you an ultrasound picture of our chubby bunny, because I am so obsessed with his face, however, I won’t because odds are you won’t know what in the fuck you’re looking at. Let’s be real. In fact, I sent my mom the latest picture of him, and that was her response, exactly: “I don’t know what I’m looking at, honey”  :::SIGH::: So, until he’s born, you get nothin’.

But, you DO get to play a little guessing game. I setup an online pool for Baby C. You can guess his due date, size, hair color, etc. While I’d like to think I won’t be offended by you not participating in my amazing game, chances are likely that I’ll unfriend you on social media if I realize you don’t. 

Here is a link to the optional game I want you to play —> BABY HUNCH

It will take less than 1 minute. DO NOT DISAPPOINT PREGNANT LAURA!


That’s all I got.

Peace my loves,