I Have A Problem…

January 26, 2018

So I actually started this post Wednesday night, but I stopped because HB wanted me to watch Black Sails with him. I’m such a good wifey.


The impetus behind this post was my excessive chocolate chip cookie consumption. I don’t know how it’s possible. I ate three giant chocolate chip cookies Wednesday…more like 2 and 2/3rds if I’m being fair. And I’m not talking about the pussy cookies with no butter. Mine have two mother fucking sticks of butter. They’re legit AF. And delicious as ever…

But DID I NEED THREE?!? The answer is NO. I did not need THREE, but I had three. And you guys…I didn’t feel that full. That’s what I’m concerned about.

I blame it on the fact that I’m still breastfeeding…bytheway, should I remind you AGAIN that I’m still breastfeeding? I am so annoying…BUT, it could be why food seems to go right through me. Regardless, no human should need to eat three chocolate chip cookies in one day. My solution? Now that they’re finished (you didn’t think I’d waste them, did you?), I’m holding off on the baking…for at least a week.

Now that that’s behind us, can we talk about New York City preschool protocol?

It’s fucking bananas. I’ve always known that. But now I’m living it. Nowhere in the world, do you start to think about schools for your 8 month old. I repeat…


But here, ya do. From what I know (which isn’t that much), we need to apply for Puff to go to preschool 2-3 days a week this coming September…to start school the FOLLOWING YEAR. I am also hearing rumblings about school tours, interviews, play dates, and essay writing…(Well, we know Puff is a shoe-in if his Mom writes his essays).  This is all for TWO-YEAR-OLD PRESCHOOL. I won’t even bother to tell you how much it costs, to essentially babysit your kid…but THIS IS WHAT YOU DO HERE, okay? I just keep thinking about the play date, where they observe Puff interacting with other kids. Let’s just hope it’s on a good day and he doesn’t make anyone cry.

WHAT IF WE DON’T GET IN TO ANY SCHOOLS?!? Mom and Dad  can always home school him.

Look, we’re already teaching him table manners:

My angel face!!!

…Here are a few more pictures from his weekly Developmental Movement class (yes, that’s a thing).

Today we’re trying swimming. #michaelphelps. If you haven’t unfollowed me on Instagram, that’s a story you don’t want to miss.


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