TBT THIS, BITCHES!

June 3, 2015

Wuddup Thugs?

I wrote this post YESTERDAY, but finished it at 10:36pm, which, if you know anything about the interweb, is a terrible time to post on social media, so I waited, and decided to TBT your ass like a ninja, instead.

BOOM. <cue really loud explosion>.

***

You need to know that in the process of writing this here blog post, four hours have passed, I’ve sucked down a Juice Generation “Peanut Butter Split” smoothie (with almond milk, spinach and NO extra sweetener), taught a private client, contemplated making black rice risotto, and decided it was a hard NO (being that I would have to give it my undivided attention for an hour), got my nails and toes done (they’re “Minty Blue”), paid $20 for an extra 10 minute foot massage, made myself seafood pasta for dinner (Yommmmmm. See picture below), washed the dishes, changed into my jams, made myself peppermint tea, and slowly nibbled my through two Justin’s dark peanut butter cups, like a fragile baby chick…

You know that last sentence is a BIG FAT LIE. I ate those suckers up in about 95 seconds flat, baby.

COME INTO MAH BELLY!

…oh yeah. Here’s the pasta…

  
***

So I have some selfies. They’re not the prettiest, but at least I have a tan…

Photo on 6-3-15 at 4.51 PM #2

I am throwing up stupid peace signs because they hide the stupid zit on my chin. I can’t have you seeing that noise.

GET OFF MY DICK, ZIT!

…Okay. Maybe it is really small and insignificant.

Look! My smile lines sorta cover it up. Weeeeeee! The perks of no Botox.

Photo on 6-3-15 at 4.51 PM #3

***

Since it’s been 15 mother fucking days since I’ve delivered the ganj, an update is mandatory – whether you like it or not. DEAL WITH IT.

Here it goes:

1). I started meditating and I LOVE IT. I’ve successfully completed 11 days of meditation and I’m not stopping, baby! To generalize, I feel less bad and more good in all ways. You should try it. I am using the app, Calm.

2). I finished reading WILD on Monday, and I sorta feel like I also hiked the 2,650 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail. I am exhausted and enlightened.

3). I am currently reading, The Alchemist.  I’m a whopping 8% in. So far, so good.

4). Russ Hanneman (and his ‘three comma’ tequila) is one of the best characters on Silicon Valley. (If you don’t watch it, start). I can connect with him on a car door level…

This clip takes douchebaggery to a whole new level of GOLD.

Click HERE to see the special.

Screen Shot 2015-06-03 at 9.13.08 PM

 

 

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5). I got HB this shirt.

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One, because it’s obviously true, and two, to test his devotion to me. He “loved” it, but weirdly, hasn’t jumped at the opportunity to wear it immediately like I had hoped. I’m now going to take a moment to drop a very subtle cue to him…

Hi babe. I really hope you wear your shirt tomorrow. I really really really hope you wear your shirt TOMORROW, which would be Thursday, June 4th, 2015. WEAR YOUR FUCKING SHIRT, BABE. I AM YELLING.

…I’ll let you know if he represents. Stay tuned.

6). The accuracy of this meme is ON. POINT.

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Let me be clear, it is UNACCEPTABLE for my husband to be sleeping peacefully, at a time when I cannot also participate in the experience. PERIOD. THE END. L-O-L.

***

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd we’re done! Feels good to be back.

Muah. Big Kiss. xx

peace-hands,

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