Hi you guys.
You get ZERO selfies today for three superficial and shallow reasons:
1). My slutty zit still exists, and I’d rather not see it. I’m sure we can all agree this was the best decision.
2). I’m not having a good hair day. It’s never needed a cut so bad. Delete. OVER IT.
3). I was restless last night, and only clocked-in 5 hours of sleep = dark circles under my eyeballs = Delete.
There are some things you need to know this Wednesday…
#1). If I were a drug, I’d be…
…Duh. I AM DUBIE.
#2). Bill Nye is my boy…
…and finally #3)…
That’s it. I love you. Be cool. Don’t be a pussy.