Things You Need To Know Today

August 5, 2015

Hi you guys.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

You get ZERO selfies today for three superficial and shallow reasons:

1). My slutty zit still exists, and I’d rather not see it. I’m sure we can all agree this was the best decision.

2). I’m not having a good hair day. It’s never needed a cut so bad. Delete. OVER IT.

3). I was restless last night, and only clocked-in 5 hours of sleep = dark circles under my eyeballs = Delete.

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There are some things you need to know this Wednesday…

#1). If I were a drug, I’d be…

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…Duh. I AM DUBIE.

#2). Bill Nye is my boy…

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…and finally #3)…

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That’s it. I love you. Be cool. Don’t be a pussy.

peace-hands,

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