Victim of Short Nail Shame

March 15, 2016

Laura28…Oh, haaaaaaayyyyyyyyaaaaaayyyyyyy

How do you like dem apples?

A  sexual photo for the WIN today. Weeeeeeeeee!



You guys. I am about to be 33 years of age. I’m still on board with getting older…and while I have noticed more definite smile lines around my eyes, it’s nothing a little Botox can’t fix…

<awkward pause>

I kid…at least for now. Can’t promise I’ll keep the needles away forever. HB does not approve…but he will when I keep my shit looking young and tight FOREVA EVA.

Moving on…


So I just got my nails done, and I have a beautiful story for you…

Photo on 3-15-16 at 3.46 PM #2

Some background:

  • I have been going to the SAME nail place EVERY WEEK for a mani pedi for the past THREE years. I usually keep it to a minimum – regular manicure / regular pedicure + quick dry (so I don’t fuck them up immediately).
  • I also do not deviate from my “short and round” shape…like EVER. I cannot do long nails. They make me cringe.
  • You would think, that after THREE years of seeing them WEEKLY they would know how I like my nails, but yet…WITHOUT FAIL…EVERY. SINGLE. TIME, they look at me like I have 7 eyeballs whenever I ask them to “please cut down,” my nails. EVERY TIME. WITHOUT FAIL!  Like I’ve just asked them to do the impossible.

So here’s my question…

WHY DO NAIL PROFESSIONALS (at least every one I’ve encountered) HATE SHORT NAILS?!?

Have YOU ever been a victim of short nail shame?

Okay, so maybe longer nails look prettier to them. Fine, I can see that, but they are so not functional. I get that they can look sick – but they’re just not ideal for my lifestyle. And, hello! I’ve been asking for short nails since the dawn of time. Why are you always surprised by my request? I don’t get it.

And it’s not just my hands…oh yeah – feet too!

The day I would agree to growing my toe nails out, will also be the last day of my life.

GETTHEFUCKOUTTA HERE with your long nails!

LONG TOE NAILS are an abomination. They will NEVER be acceptable.





Now, some good quote to round out our Tuesdays…

IMG_3373 (1)


I’m out.




You Might Also Like

No Comments

Leave a Reply