A Puff

August 26, 2014

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Hey Babies.

***

I have to get the fuck out of here, but I wanted to say HIIIIIIII and even if it's just a puff,  give you some dank Dubie kush. Something's better than nothing, yes? 

***

Smoke on this...

If you want to change anything about your life, you need to quit obsessing over shit you have no control over. It's fucking hard, and sometimes we can't help ourselves, but by just becoming AWARE of when we do it, we will start to live more in the PRESENT, and like magic, our lives will become more amazing. This shit's for real. 

NOW IS ALL WE HAVE.

You understand? I repeat...

NOW IS ALL WE FUCKING HAVE.

RECONGIZE THIS, Babies.

I LOVE YOU. Your are all PHENOMENAL HUMANS.

***

kissBesos kiss

 XOXO

I AM WEIRD

August 21, 2014

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Hey Babes. 'Sup?

I AM BACK!!!

...and I have a swoop. They're not bangs. Let me be clear: NOT BANGS. They're just layers, mofos. And I am obsessed with them because I NEVER need to blow dry my hair. It's the most fabulous thing on earth <sigh of the cross>.

...and here I am throwing up some some peace signs to annoy the fuck out of you.

You're welcome.

***

I'm about to

BLOW. YOUR. MIND.

Since I haven't had an iota of structure with the Dubes this Summer, I thought I'd continue down that path and talk about myself.

So <pause> without further ado, I give you...

5 Things You'd Be Surprised to Know About Me:

1). Jolly Ranchers are dead to me...unless they're cinnamon flavored. Chocolate is what bosses eat. I AM A BOSS.

2). I have freakishly long arms. You might not be able to tell because a normal person isn't standing next to me, but trust when I say they're long as shit.

3). I have a freakishly high belly button. Like, a good 3-4" higher than your average.

Normal person's belly button is about here:

My belly button is here:

For real. It's on it's way up to my boobs. So what.

4). I can't shuffle cards. This probably surprises NO ONE.

5). I scribble my name on the shower door EVERY TIME I SHOWER. I think I'm practicing for all of those autographs I'll have to sign soon when I am Beyonce famous and have a legit excuse to wear sunglasses EVERYWHERE.

***

Advice of the day:

...and if you don't know what the fuck that means (like me until I got schooled by HB yesterday)...then read on, Babies...

***

heartThat's all I got. I love you. Namasteheart

 XOXO

 

Hi!

August 12, 2014

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Hi Hookers!

...isn't hookers a fabulous word? I love it. I hope you do too...

** 

How you doin'? How you feelin'?

...Fabulous, I hope! ...and if not fabulous, the Dubie ganj is sure to make things better. Obvs.

***

Today I have announcements. smiley

YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH BUDDY!

Ready?

Here. We. Go...

1). I was summoned for jury duty yesterday. <sigh> In a nutshell, I sat next to weird people in comfortable chairs with shitty wifi. After six hours, I BECAME A FREE WOMAN!!! Woot! What did I do to celebrate? I WORKED THE FUCK OUT and it felt so good. I also drew you a picture before I chucked this baby into the shredder.

That's wussup.

2). I went dark. I'm obsessed. It's either black or white these days. Color is Essie Partner In Crime. I'm saving lives one manicure at  a time. #quoteme Like, really. I am.

3). SPOTTED on the 6! Someone who loves boobies! ...and so do I, which is why I went stealth and snapped a pic for your eyeballs. He had no idea. I'm that good.

4). I HAVE A ZIT. Eyemuffs, please! Thank you.

5). The new Daily Dubie logo is complete! She's so pretty! ...But you can't see her...yet (emphasis on the t). Patience, my people. I will tell you that she's all grown up. Less is more for Daily Dubie 3.0. Interpret that however you like <wink wink>.

***

Now. <pause> Your quote.

Let it BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT.

LEAD, Babies...and empower others to do the same! 

***

We're done here. I love you.

MUAH! kiss

 XOXO

COOKIE TIME!!!!

August 7, 2014

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Babies. I got somethin' real good today. Real fuckin' good...

I got COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!

Haaaaayyyaaaaayyyyyy. Get off your loser diet and bake yourself a batch of these bad boys.

In their defense...they're filled with good-for-you shit, made with HQ ingredients that only bosses (like us) use.

MAKE SOME. BAKE SOME. EAT SOME.

The Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie

Bake at 350 for 12-15 minutes.

So Baller.

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That's all I got today. Muchos Besos Grandes! 

kisskisskiss,

 XOXO

 

Things I Heart: July

August 5, 2014

Tags:

'Sup Sons?

Why the fuck is it August already? Can somebody please tell me why?

...I mean, aside from the fact that it comes after July...just WHY!?!?

It's a little unacceptable. I've only just started to enjoy walking around in shorts so obscene they could be mistaken for underwear <SIGH>...and sandals, and spending days and nights on our rooftop, and drinking rosé in moderation-lie!!!!!!!!. It's truly fabulous, and should not end anytime soon.

Ya hear, New York City weather?!? I need two more months of HEAT, baby. At minimum!

Merci. Gracias. Thank you. Namaste.

Moving right along...

***

Mah NAILS.

This week I'm topless and barefoot. Nothing out of the ordinary here. Scandalous as usual...

***

<PAUSE>...Now, drop EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING and pay the fuck attention. Today I give you...

THINGS I heart'd JULY:

Fireworks. Duh. 

Hot Dogs. Served burnt, on a bun with mustard and a little ketchup.

Charlie Bird. Fab restaurant in the West Village. GO!

Beautiful, the musical. Saw this with Mama Joan when she came to visit! It made my face hurt from smiling so much! It was truly exceptional! (p.s..: we had BALLER seats).

90's Night at Bellhouse. Danced my boobs off for 5 hours (and could have gone longer) to some of the BEST songs ever! - there were, however technical difficulties in playing Waterfalls which was a slight disappointment.

Kenzo two-piece. Kenzo's the shit. I'm obsessed with some of their very fashion-forward, unique, and buttoned-up pieces like THIS one I basically stole from Opening Ceremony (70% off!). P.S..: The shorts are CULOTTES! Ugh. Swoon.

Undefeated. Excellent documentary about a coach who turned around a poor, struggling high school football team. I cried. So inspiring. So much more than football. Netflix, baby.

Spinning Plates. ANOTHER amazing documentary about 3 very different restaurants that all share a great passion for connecting to their community through food. SO GOOD! Netflix, baby.

TinasheSuper sexy stripper music. HOT.

Coney Island. Went for the first time and took this very unlikely photo of me drinking BEER and eating a corndog! YESSSSS. So good. I got drunk after, like, three sips of beer. It was fab and made the rides more fun (obvs.)

Flash Tattoos. These are so pretty! I love them. I want them EVERYWHERE. Get some. NOW.

Yves Salomon shearling mink jacket...Ooooooohhhhh boy. Such a beauty. 

Valentino Rockstud sneaks. Eeeyyyyyyssssh. So slutty. I sorta need these. 

Houzz app. An addiction. You're welcome.

Gray, the color. Gray is the new black, people. Get gray. Nails, clothes, bags. EVERYTHING. All shades. All ways.

Candidly Nicole. L-to-the-O-L. Love.heart

Rita Ora for Adidas. So hip hop. Bad. Ace.

***

BOOM. That's all I got for today.

I love you. Now go fuck shit up.

kissMuah kiss

 XOXO

 

 

 

 

Happy 3rd Birthday to Gracie!

July 31, 2014

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My Brothas & Sistas...

This is a G rated posted today. While f bombs will be scarce, cuteness will not be...

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY to my youngest niece!!! 

Gracie Josephine

You are strong, wild, sassy, bossy, loving, outgoing, determined, brutally honest, hilarious, sincere, and beautiful. Your Auntie Lola loves you so much it's stupid. You light up my life. I want to eat your face off.

...Now, LET YOUR EYEBALLS EXPLODE...

I LOVE YOU BUNNY!!!

kissheartkissheartkissheart

XOXO,

AUNTIE LOLA (and Uncle Mikey - you're favorite). 

PASTA! PASTA! PASTA!

July 29, 2014

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Bad Boys and Bitches of My Life...

This morning I give you...

PASTA!

Fuck Yeah!

Who doesn't want pasta at 9:14 a.m.. EST?!? 

Pasta is a fabulous idea when it's grain-free, makes you feel good, and actually tastes sensational (swear to fucking god). I discovered this pasta following some Paleo-fanatic on Insta, and I hit the JACKPOT, Babies!

...Now now...I am NOT one of those annoying anti-pasta / no-carb people who you (secretly) want to punch in the throat. I still do eat regular wheat-filled pasta, however it's not something that would make me feel fab if I ate it on the reg, let's be real.

But THIS SHIT...I can eat much more often, without feeling like a HUGE (super crabby) BITCH.

I get if you're skeptical - you should be because most grain-free / gluten-free pasta is slimy, mushy and tastes like ass. I was...until I tried the stuff. HB has my back too! He actually loves it! 

Here's the skinny:

It's fresh pasta - it will last a few weeks in the refrigerator or a few months in the freezer. 

It takes anywhere from 45 seconds - 3 minutes (max) to cook.

Did I mention it tastes great?

The only downside is that the shit's pretty expensive (about $12 per package). 

***

Now <pause> some directions...

DIRECTIONS:

1). Slice tomatoes in half or quarters depending on how big they are. Place in large mixing bowl. Add basil, salt, garlic and olive oil. Stir, then let marinade in fridge for at least 1 hour (2+ hours is ideal). Pull out of fridge an hour before serving.

2). Take sausage out of casing, and put into large frying pan. Brown over medium-high heat. Set sausage aside to cool. 

3). Boil Water. Add pasta. Cook for however long box says.

4). Drain pasta, add to mixture of tomatoes. Stir well. Add sausage to mixing bowl last, stir again. 

5). Plate and add fresh parmesan cheese.

HOLLA.

***

That's all I got. Now I'm hungry.

kissBesoskiss

 XOXO

 

 

 

Monday Ganja

July 28, 2014

Tags:

Yo.

'Sup?

...Yeah. Thas right. I AM TOUGH...Thought I'd show my other "bad" side for a change. It is true. I can be bad. I am bad. <evil wink wink>. Secretly, now not-so-secretly...Take it. 

You know I can only post a certain number of open-mouthed, posey selfies (like the one you see below) before I want to stab my own eyeballs out. 

Gotta give you some thug, Hunnies.

***

We have a lot of ground to cover, but let's start with a topic that is of utmost importance...Liiiiike

MY NAILS.

Let's take a look at the numbers:

Here's a little elaboration to put it all into perspective...

It's been 18 days since I deleted gels from my life...Since then, I've gotten 3 manicures + 1 polish change because I cannot handle chippage. Chippage is totally unacceptable in my world. As a result my real nails are looking nicer, my hands don't look like Madonna's (no more UV light fucking up my skin) and I've spent half the amount of money I would to get my nails done half as often = WIN (and HB is thrilled - he doesn't know it, but he's really very thrilled about his wife being so thrifty).

***

<SIGH> ...Oki Doke. Y'all need to see what happened over the weekend. I'll start with our Advanced Mat Certification. Check it...

These babes brought it! We got distal, teaser'd to transition, and moved with mad flow yo, all at the helm of KH Sauce. I also caught some completely spontaneous, candid shots like this of the lead teacher...

It was fabuloso. Check out more on ISH4P!

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Post teacher training, HB and I went to dinner, watched movies and made out. No surprises there. Tequila was also involved. Below is a pineapple margarita I made. I felt loose three sips deep. Score.

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I'll end today's post with a FRESH NEW CAMEO I shot last week of the ONE, the ONLY

DAN WELTNER

Dan talks Pilates, his intolerance for un-pedicured feet, and shows us his favorite dance move that involves pelvic thrusting (duh).

Press Play IMMEDIATELY!

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Okay Babies. That's all I got for today! I'll send you off with a nice quote...

Fuck up. Own it. Laugh. Who cares.

***

Peace kiss

 XOXO