I am Emo. Deal with it. I am.

July 8, 2014

Tags:

Wuddup Sons?

<LONG SIGH>

There I am. I look really happy, huh?!? (and, obviously, I think I look really pretty)...but it's just a fucking picture folks. Pictures can be deceiving.

In actuality...

I am tired

I am emo

...and feel like I'm going to give birth to my uterus - not that I know what that feels like or anything - but I imagine it would feel something like I do now. Oy. But no need to worry...I've got my hot water bottle and dark chocolate on hand. I've also exercised...TWICE muthafuckas....I did...

Pilates...and I got low, got low...(like Lil Jon)

...and then some Hot Yoga. 

BOOYAH.

I sweat my itty bitty titties off and it felt phenomenal...that was naughty. Isn't titties dirtier than boobies? It is, but I like both. Both are a lot of fun to say. <wink wink>

***

So <pause>...I feel better, I am managing, but I am fragile and THAT'S OKAY. I'm cool with it. There's no use fighting it. I gotta work with what I got and make the best of it...ya feel me? 

The take away here is if and when you feel like h-e-double-hockey sticks (also fun to say) or you want to eyeball murder everyone around you, remember that... 

YOU CAN ONLY WORK WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT. Take it. 

...or perhaps, put more eloquently, listen to my boo Eckhart.

Yeeeeaaaaaah, Buddy. That's a grain of truth right there.

***

Before I say peace, you have to know that I (finally) obliged and got ramen with HBunny over the weekend. Yes, ramen...HOT ramen in this cool 90 degree weather.

For those unfamiliar with the likes and dislikes of HB, know that he is obsessed with ramen, and, if it were up to him, would eat it every. single. day.

We went to Ivan Ramen in the East Village. It was fabulous. (bytheway, Ivan is a white, Jewish dude. Amazingness).

There I am! Chopsticks were up. I was ready to plunge into some noodles in a salt bath.

...

And now here is HB...polishing off what remained of my shoyu ramen. 

FINALLY! <sigh> HE LOOKED UP! 

Oh my sweet little husband....I love him so. heart

...and I love you, too. I'm out. Time to teach like an oss boss.

kissMuchoes Besos Pequenoskiss

 XOXO

Snack on this…

July 7, 2014

Tags:

Yo Babies...

I might be back later, but in the meantime, here are some brain explosives...

NEW PHOTOS!!! ...for the new Dubie!!! (coming soon). Here's a sneak peak. Get up close and personal with...

My singular eyeball. <sigh> Compliments of the amazingly talented @thefancyriot

...And here's your Monday inspirational, get off your fucking ass, believe in yourself and fucking do something quote...

Hit it.

Word. I'm out.

 XOXO

Things I Loved June!

July 2, 2014

Tags:

Hi Peanuts.

<cue an explosion of exclamation points>

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

I know. <SIGH>. You cannot believe your eyeballs that this is actually happening. I am delivering TWO DAYS IN. A. ROW.  I mean, let's be real, this hasn't happened in eons, but it's happening today because...

I am being nice. To MYSELF. Yeah Muthafuckas. Thas right.

I am a woman of my word, and obviously, I'm taking this whole thing VERY seriously. It's special. I have extra time on my hands because I didn't make any appointments and am taking today off from the gym to rest...I even have a massage booked for tonight. It better be good. Namaste.

***

Now. <pause for suspense>...I give you...

heart 14 THINGS I LOVED JUNE heart

1). High Maintenance web series, on Vimeo. This is so fucking fantastic. You'll blow through all episodes in one sitting. Swear. They're short, too. They range anywhere from 3-15 minutes long. You'll be pissed there aren't more.

2). Leading My first Mat Course! This little group will always be so special to me! 

3). Booty Shorts

...but are these really shorts? So hoochie. I love it. GET SOME.

4). My Ella Bunny's 7th Birthday. My sweet, stunningly beautiful niece. I cannot get enough.

5). Subway Stabilization ... I can't really tell you about this without LOL-ing for real because it's just ridiculous. I play this game with HB on the subway I like to call "subway stabilization," where I don't hold on to anything and use my core of steel (duh) to stabilize my body while the subway moves / jerks around all over the place. So far I haven't fallen. I secretly think HB wants me to fall because I'm so annoying. I don't blame him.

6).Pinaskullada backpack by Saint Laurent. This is super cute! I would get it if I knew I wouldn't be over it in a season....and if it weren't a cool $900. 

7). The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast. Always super interesting. HB got me hooked. I'm trying to listen to more podcasts so I can fill my brain with knowledge at all times...well, let's not get carried away...there has to be time for mindless bullshit, too. <wink wink>

8). Printallover.me. Just GO! GO! GO!  I just got myself into something very very bad, but very very good all at once.

9). Fascia (FAH-SHA). It literally encases the insides of our ENTIRE body in multiple layers, gives muscles their shape...and more importantly is fun to say. Fascia, fascia, fascia.

10). Thunder Storms. I'm obsessed with storms in general, but I especially love hot, summer thunderstorms!!! They're so sexy and amazing.

11). Blue, the color. All shades. All ways.

12). Handstand Push-Ups, baby! Photo / Video coming soon...

13). TEASERS EVERYWHERE.

...Me in Anguilla...Adam & Jill in Bermuda...

...and the girls last weekend in Palm Springs.

HOLLA!

14). My SILs Bachelorette! 

***

That about did it for June...onto the next list...

July is in THA HOUSE!!!

That's all I got. Peace Sons.

kissBesoskiss

 XOXO

 

Be nice…to yourself

July 1, 2014

Tags:

BABIES of my LIFE!!!

Hi there. 

...Excuse while I inhale my phenomenal open fried egg and avocado sandwich. I have barely eaten a morsel of food, and I've deleted, like, 5 million calories with some magical Pilates and hot yoga.

Holla...but holy shit. I NEED TO FEED, or else I'll get hood on someone. For real.

Lesson be learned: Don't fuck with me when I'm hungry...also do not talk to me because I am not listening to you. FacT (emphasis on the T).

***

<post-sandwich destruction>

I am feeling much, MUCH better! Fabulous, in fact. I'm totally going to have a dessert, but first, I owe you a FAT piece of Dubie ass...

TAP IT, SONS...

***

If you follow my shit on INSTA, you know I traveled 6,000 miles over the weekend to celebrate my Canty Lover, aka my future sister-in-law. You could say we had fun in the sun. The #guns and #buns were in FULL EFFECT. <wink wink>

heartheartheart

...Obviously, I was still drunk when I boarded my 6:45 a.m. flight back to NYC Sunday morning. I was unacceptable and wanted to stab everyone's eyeballs out - including my own. After 12 hours, a big bowl of pasta (HBunny delivered!), a hot shower, an episode of Orange is the New Black, and 10 hours of sleep, I semi-recovered. I was still in rare form yesterday, but made it top priority to take care of myself because frankly, my 31-year-old body simply CANNOT HANDLE more than two days worth of wild and crazy shenanigans. It was, however, worth EVERY ounce of pain I experienced Sunday, I just need massive TLC now because I'm an old lady who is a very fragile human.

***

It is also the week before my dot = EXTRA EMO DUBIE = FUCKING ANNOYING.

<Sigh>. What tends to happen this time of the month is that I am more easily offended, I take things personally when I shouldn't, I cry all of the time about things that aren't even sad, I want to delete everyone, all people annoy me (with the exception of a few), I am capable of being very bitchy, I am bratty, I am hard on myself, nothing is ever good enough.

I know I'm not batshit crazy. I know you all can relate to a degree. Don't lie bitches. wink

Because I am so aware of this, I am  always trying to make it better, not let myself get sucked into the negativity. Some months are better than others. But, lately, my "theme" for my own personal growth, is to be nicer to myself. Especially NOW when I know I am predisposed to it.

Isn't that sweet? wink I think so.

Even though I always think I can be better at ALL things...part of that process - of improving, growing, changing - is to accept where you are NOW. Be proud, thankful and grateful for what you have, what you can do, and how you positively affect the lives of others NOW. Like TODAY. Like this VERY SECOND. THIS VERY MINUTE. Because, at the end of the day the past and the future do not matter. REAL TIME matters. Consuming your thoughts with things of the past and the future are mere distractions from the FUCKING AMAZING that can happen RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.

Ya hear?

...One last thing I am compelled to share before I say peace. Today I woke up feeling physically spent (but you know that doesn't stop me from exercise). I did Pilates AND then I did a hot yoga class right after because that's usually my jam, and I always feel fabulous afterward. In class, I was really struggling - usually I just push through and try to go balls to the wall with every pose/expression because I am a crazy person in that way, but today I was totally okay with modifying - I even took a brief child's pose to give myself some relief! This might sound ridiculous, but for me, this was a big deal. This was my way of being nicer to myself. Being okay with what my body could give IN THE MOMENT. I am proud. Tear.

My advice to you: Be nice to yourself. Modify. Take breaks. We all need them.

***

UGH. Who's over this? I am. I love you.

Peace Muthafuckas.

 XOXO

 

 

 

 

What I ate for Breakfast Tuesday

June 24, 2014

Tags:

'Sup MoFos?

HAPPY TUESDAY!!!

...Because you care, I've decided to share what I ate for breakfast. Today, it happened to be one of my favorite desserts breakfasts of ALL TIME. Are you ready for this jelly? ...GET IT. GET IT.

<ENTER>

THE BANANA BLEND!

SO. FUCKING. GANGSTER.

It literally tastes like ice cream. 'Nuff said.

All you need is

A Blender + 5 Minutes (including prep time)...then BOOM, a healthy dose of phenomenal for your boca.

***

That's all I've got for now. Like it. Love it. Eat it.

Besos Grandes.

 XOXO

 

SOME SUGAR

June 23, 2014

Tags:

Nugglets of MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things are HOT AS SHIT up in this bidness...starting with my hot dog tee...

...and let's be real, sons, I'm sorta having a pretty day, which is why I did you the honor of taking more than one selfie. <sigh>

You're welcome.

***

HIT THIS.

Hot dog tee IN FULL. HOLLA.

...and obviously I had to show what was on the bottom. My fabulous, new, and slightly slutty booty shorts. I love them. You ALL need some. 

You might think I have some crazy filter on these pictures that makes me look tan as fuck...and I totally do. HOWEVER, I am, for real, VERY bronzed- spent some time on our roof this weekend reading, dranking...and taking selfies.

I also made HB and I HOMEMADE LASAGNA using these AMAZING grain-free noodles. It was PHENOMENAL.

...The rest of the weekend wound up looking like this...

ICE CREAM.

MORE SELFIES

BESOS

and, of course...HB SLEEPING (awwwww isn't he sweet?)

***

Ugh. I'm totally over myself...but not enough that I won't show you this FRESH CAMEO, featuring...Yours Truly...

I finally grew a set of balls and took a little trip IN FRONT OF the camera. <sigh> Not the most comfortable position to be in. I sorta hate it.

PRESS PLAY.

 
***
...And now, before I say peace...your BOMB OF KNOWLEDGE...
 
 
It takes risk, failure, hard work and dedication to reach goals. It is these things that make you a BETTER PERSON. 
 

Don't ever stop trying to be BETTER. DO NOT. EVER. 

***

I'm out. I love you.

kissMuchos Besos kiss

 XOXO

HAPPY 7TH BIRTHDAY TO MY ELLA BUNNY PIE!!!

June 21, 2014

Tags:

HOMIIIIIEEEEESSSSS!!!

<sigh>

I know you've been without Dubie ganj for a while...but trust when I say that it's a fabulous thing.

CHANGE IS HAPPENING. We're in transition. Space right now is necessary. I'm gearing up for the launch of 

Daily Dubie 3.0!!!

HOLLA.

I won't say much, but I will say that it's a smokeshow, sons. #bepatient. 

***

No need for earmuffs today! This post is RATED G for my niece and for my Mama. wink...HIT IT...

***

You know I NEVER post on weekends, but today is an exception. The sole purpose of this post to give a birthday shoutout (also something I never do), but this little lady will always be the exception to the rule...

HAPPY 7th BIRTHDAY TO MY ELLA BELLA CLAIRE!!!!!!!!

...The (other) love of my life!

You've lit up my life from the first moment I held your mini seven pound burrito snuggle face self in my arms. 

...and I continue to love you more and more everyday! (if that's possible!)

Your are the most beautiful girl on the inside out. 

You are talented beyond measure. I am so proud of everything you do - the small things and the big things.

You are so sensitive and thoughtful.

You are AMAZING in ALL WAYS.

I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK, BABY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY. You will always be Lola's special girl! 

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO,

Lola ...aka.

 

 

 

Catching Up

June 17, 2014

Tags:

BUENOS DIAS MUÑECAS BONITAS!

It's hot as balls up in this fuzz...I am hydrating with pineapple coconut water. Like a BOSSSSSS....

#newkicks #boss

Just a friendly, subtle reminder for those who don't realize who they're dealing with.

We clear?

Excellent...

...Oh! I also got my nails did. They're very hip. Check 'em...

Sky blue. I'm into it if for the sole reason that they make me look tan.

***

...Now <pause> let me tell you about my weekend...

I LED.

MY FIRST.

EVER.

MAT TRAINING COURSE.

I was anxious, nervous and excited all at the same time! Everything went great! I couldn't have asked for a better weekend with a better group of people. I was so proud - of THEM and of myself.

Here's the whole gang (from back row, left to right): Diana, Joseph, Melissa, Madeline, Frances, Sandra, Jen, Me, Jarushka and Shilpa.

You can check out more photos on ISH4P

P.S.: I obviously had to wear my Westeros leggings in honor of the GOT Season finale. 

***

Don't hate me, but I really want to complain about how much my body hurts. But it's the good kind of hurt - the hurt that reminds you you've worked your ass off. You know this makes me very happy...

Even though I can't really walk without wincing, I love knowing that I am getting stronger and better. 

I told you post-vacay, I was ready to fuck shit up. I am a woman of my word.

Now, since I've been destroying my muscle fibers the past week+, they're fucking pissed. Furious even. They've had enough. They want mercy, so I'm giving them mercy.

I can't be an idiot and continue to push, when my body is telling me no mas. Our bodies are so smart. We just need to listen to them. Most of the time we don't, which is what gets us into trouble. But I AM LISTENING. I am obliging and taking tomorrow off, so I can recover. I'll tell you how that goes. <wink wink>.

***

That's really all I have to say today, Homies. There was no rhyme or reason to today's post. It was chaos, but I liked it. I like you.

kissBESOSkiss

 XOXO