Happy 3rd Birthday to Gracie!

July 31, 2014


My Brothas & Sistas...

This is a G rated posted today. While f bombs will be scarce, cuteness will not be...

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY to my youngest niece!!! 

Gracie Josephine

You are strong, wild, sassy, bossy, loving, outgoing, determined, brutally honest, hilarious, sincere, and beautiful. Your Auntie Lola loves you so much it's stupid. You light up my life. I want to eat your face off.





AUNTIE LOLA (and Uncle Mikey - you're favorite). 


July 29, 2014


Bad Boys and Bitches of My Life...

This morning I give you...


Fuck Yeah!

Who doesn't want pasta at 9:14 a.m.. EST?!? 

Pasta is a fabulous idea when it's grain-free, makes you feel good, and actually tastes sensational (swear to fucking god). I discovered this pasta following some Paleo-fanatic on Insta, and I hit the JACKPOT, Babies!

...Now now...I am NOT one of those annoying anti-pasta / no-carb people who you (secretly) want to punch in the throat. I still do eat regular wheat-filled pasta, however it's not something that would make me feel fab if I ate it on the reg, let's be real.

But THIS SHIT...I can eat much more often, without feeling like a HUGE (super crabby) BITCH.

I get if you're skeptical - you should be because most grain-free / gluten-free pasta is slimy, mushy and tastes like ass. I was...until I tried the stuff. HB has my back too! He actually loves it! 

Here's the skinny:

It's fresh pasta - it will last a few weeks in the refrigerator or a few months in the freezer. 

It takes anywhere from 45 seconds - 3 minutes (max) to cook.

Did I mention it tastes great?

The only downside is that the shit's pretty expensive (about $12 per package). 


Now <pause> some directions...


1). Slice tomatoes in half or quarters depending on how big they are. Place in large mixing bowl. Add basil, salt, garlic and olive oil. Stir, then let marinade in fridge for at least 1 hour (2+ hours is ideal). Pull out of fridge an hour before serving.

2). Take sausage out of casing, and put into large frying pan. Brown over medium-high heat. Set sausage aside to cool. 

3). Boil Water. Add pasta. Cook for however long box says.

4). Drain pasta, add to mixture of tomatoes. Stir well. Add sausage to mixing bowl last, stir again. 

5). Plate and add fresh parmesan cheese.



That's all I got. Now I'm hungry.






Monday Ganja

July 28, 2014




...Yeah. Thas right. I AM TOUGH...Thought I'd show my other "bad" side for a change. It is true. I can be bad. I am bad. <evil wink wink>. Secretly, now not-so-secretly...Take it. 

You know I can only post a certain number of open-mouthed, posey selfies (like the one you see below) before I want to stab my own eyeballs out. 

Gotta give you some thug, Hunnies.


We have a lot of ground to cover, but let's start with a topic that is of utmost importance...Liiiiike


Let's take a look at the numbers:

Here's a little elaboration to put it all into perspective...

It's been 18 days since I deleted gels from my life...Since then, I've gotten 3 manicures + 1 polish change because I cannot handle chippage. Chippage is totally unacceptable in my world. As a result my real nails are looking nicer, my hands don't look like Madonna's (no more UV light fucking up my skin) and I've spent half the amount of money I would to get my nails done half as often = WIN (and HB is thrilled - he doesn't know it, but he's really very thrilled about his wife being so thrifty).


<SIGH> ...Oki Doke. Y'all need to see what happened over the weekend. I'll start with our Advanced Mat Certification. Check it...

These babes brought it! We got distal, teaser'd to transition, and moved with mad flow yo, all at the helm of KH Sauce. I also caught some completely spontaneous, candid shots like this of the lead teacher...

It was fabuloso. Check out more on ISH4P!


Post teacher training, HB and I went to dinner, watched movies and made out. No surprises there. Tequila was also involved. Below is a pineapple margarita I made. I felt loose three sips deep. Score.


I'll end today's post with a FRESH NEW CAMEO I shot last week of the ONE, the ONLY


Dan talks Pilates, his intolerance for un-pedicured feet, and shows us his favorite dance move that involves pelvic thrusting (duh).



Okay Babies. That's all I got for today! I'll send you off with a nice quote...

Fuck up. Own it. Laugh. Who cares.


Peace kiss


No Mediocre

July 23, 2014



That was rhetorical. Don't answer that. Just listen.

...I think you'd all agree that I did enough talking yesterday, so today, I give you the gift of music...

A little T.I. and Iggy Iggy.


....and that's the anthem, get'cha damn hands up! #wedontwantnomediocre

Mediocre is unacceptable.

That's all I got...Now I gotta get these nails taken care of.  Woof.



The Hard Core Truth: You Need to Fail To Advance

July 22, 2014


'Sup Hunnies?

There I am. ...Again pre-shower, high pony tail, post-sweat beads. Like it. Love it. Want some more of it.

Before we get super deep and serious, look at the health that happened over the weekend...

YES. That is a beer. YES. That is a corndog...WHAT. THE. FUCK.

...But we went to Coney Island, baby!

It was mandatory to eat like shit! ...It's also worth mentioning the fact that I had a colossal double-scooped ice cream cone (unfortunately not pictured) while I watched Honey Buns get launched a million feet into the air on a ride otherwise known as "Slingshot." Let's just say ice cream was the way to go...HB would beg to differ. <wink wink>. He thoroughly enjoyed getting launched.

...Speaking of the devil...HERE HE IS in all his White Castle glory. This was, of course, inhaled post-hotdogs and post-Slingshot. HB was very happy about this.

...We got back home, showered to the third power, then vegetated on the couch the whole rest of the eve. It was fabulous. Likewise, I hope all of your eyeballs had THRILLING WEEKENDS...But now it's already Tuesday, so you should be back in the game ready to fuck shit up this week. Comprende?


Today I want to talk about ADVANCING. 


ad·vance·ment noun \əd-ˈvan(t)-smənt\

: the act of moving forward

: the act or result of making something better, more successful, etc.

: the act of being raised to a higher rank or position

Don't we all want to advance in some way?

Whether it be at work - get a promotion, get paid more dolla dolla bill$, get more clients, expand our business, help more people - Or personally - learn more, get healthier, get happier - Or physically - lose weight, eat healthier, get stronger, get faster, lift heavier weights, increase mobility, flexibility, etc. Whatever it might be doesn't our world go-round because of this incessant drive to improve the quality of our life? Maybe not for everyone, but I only think that is because they don't believe they can do better - it's something they don't yet see in themselves, but it's in ALL human beings - the ability to do better.

So the question is - HOW do we get better?


And I know this might be hard to believe, but I FAIL ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Imagine that.

When I do Pilates, Crossfit, and, yeah, even when I teach! I am human. 

Although I often post annoying photos of me doing crazy ass shit with my body (and my technique is fabulous) - I have days where even the simplest of movements are a challenge. I will show you. I have many weaknesses - lack of mobility in my shoulders and thoracic spine, tightness and weakness in my side body, I failed all but 2 of my snatches @ a measly 63# on Saturday (and have bruises to prove it), and I have really slow footwork in my jerks to name just a few things I suck at right now. Depending on the day, I'll get upset, but it also gives me motivation and something to work toward.

The first thing you need to understand is that the process of ADVANCEMENT is UNCOMFORTABLE as shit.

Think of being too comfortable and at-ease as a RED FLAG for...you're not pushing yourself enough. I know it's easy to fall into the "I am content with my routine," trap, but that only lasts for so long. You'll get bored and crave a change, which is code for - wanting to advance - wanting something more exciting - wanting something better. 

Now, let's establish some FACTS:

Comfort does NOT render advancement. Discomfort renders advancement. 

These are some feelings you might experience when you're in the process of advancement:

  • SADNESS - you might cry like me. Yes. I cry.

And contrary to how it looks on paper, these are all FANTASTIC SIGNS! They're signs of growth. Take them. Be okay with them. Use them as motivation. Use them to GET BETTER...and know that you will have good days and bad days - BE OKAY WITH WHERE YOU ARE IN THE MOMENT.


...Now <pause> before I go, I have one more bomb of knowledge...

HB and I were watching this new show called American Muscle, and there was a scene where NFL star cornerback, Richard Sherman was mentoring a young athlete and something he said stuck with me...

"The butterflies never go away. If they do, you know you're done."

Butterflies keep you on your toes. Butterflies make you better.

Boom. We're done.

I've said my peace.




July 15, 2014


Hi Babies!

I haven't showered yet. This is the Dubes in the RAW. Not an ounce of makeup...but there IS lipgloss...there is ALWAYS lipgloss. <Sigh>

Today, it's Buxom's "White Russian." . I highly recommend it. Not only does it look fabulous, it has that tingle that, at the very least, makes you feel like you have a full, tres sexual, pout. GET SOME.


Now...<pause for 3, 2, 1>

...There is A LOT to report (UNDERLINEBOLD / & ITALICIZE).

Are we clear on the emphasis?


I'll start with my nails, because there is BIG NEWS to report - HUGE - it's not just a color update, folks. You ready? ...

AFTER (literally) 15 years of always having acrylic / gels, I finally deleted that shit. Not forever, but for now I'm going au naturale...


Not bad, right? ...Buuuuut, if you look closely, there is some serious chippage happening already, which is UNACCEPTABLE.

So, the pros to this are:

It's healthier for my nails and skin (no exposure to UV/LED light).

It's cheaper

Cons are:

I need to maintain this shit on the reg - mani EVERY week = impatient Dubie.

You literally need to wait an HOUR before touching anything, otherwise you risk denting/fucking them up.

I am hoping to keep it going for at least a month and only occasionally get the gels. Obviously, I'll let you know how it all goes...<wink wink>


...In other news...

My Mama came to visit me over the weekend! Look how cute she is...

We ate a lot of food, drank a lot of wine, watched a lot of Housewives and saw BEAUTIFUL, which was exceptional, to say the least!

...I even got Mama J to swear a little (no fucks, though)...I think she secretly loved it. (HAH!).


I Sweat Hard For Pilates also had it's 1st Birthday! Tumblr sent me a cupcake to celebrate...you should take a bite.

*I update this more regularly than the DD right now.


And finally I'll end with a fabulous, thought-provoking quote by none other than Joey P...

Let it BLOW. YOUR. MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yet another reminder to FOCUS ON the PRESENT MOMENT, not the past and not the future. The PRESENT is what matters and is what will determine your future.

Keep your head in the game, Homies.


I've said my peace. Now I need a shower. 




Nine One One

July 9, 2014


Hot Tamales of My Life...

It's 9: fucking 11...911!


...Okay. Not really, but I found it strange that the clock read: 9:11 ON. THE. DOT. the moment I spontaneously decided to give you some dank ganj.

What can I say? I'm living on the edge, folks. There's always danger involved in my life. ALWAYSSSS (strong emphasis on the "S" - wasn't it obvious?)


Now. <pause> what to talk about... 

First, I took two stupid selfies for you. I actually didn't plan on posting, I just took these because I wanted to see how fabulous I looked in this free hat swag I scored from the gym today.

Go ahead. Indulge, Sons...

You should know that I shoved this carrot (and many others) in my mouth immediately upon arriving home because I was ready to stab for food. Carrots seem to do the trick. <wink wink>

...and, oh look! An eyeball. A singular eyeball is so on-trend. #hashtag #oneeeyeball


I'd first like to say that I am fully aware of the fact that there has been, shall we say...a lack of structure / schedule here on the Dubes. Right now, while I transition the old Dubie to the NEW Dubie, that's just the way it's gonna be. Take it or leave it. But, be rest assured that I HAVE A PLAN and it's FUCKING GOOD.

heart If YOU have any topics or questions you'd like me to answer, holler at me --> lconstantiner AT email DOT COM. heart


Now...to go with my stupid selfies, you get a stupid post....

4 More Things You'd Be Surprised To Know About Me

1). I like anchovies. So salty. So good.

2). I dislike raisins in cookies. It's ALL about the chocolate chips, baby. Everything else can suck it.

3). I love touching buttons. Like, literally pushing the shit out of all things brings me so much joy. I used to want to be a pilot for the longest time because they sit in sea of buttons.

4). I haTe putting away dry cleaning. All that plastic. Those terrible wire hangers. DE-LETE.


That's it Homies...

I'm out. I love you. 



I am Emo. Deal with it. I am.

July 8, 2014


Wuddup Sons?


There I am. I look really happy, huh?!? (and, obviously, I think I look really pretty)...but it's just a fucking picture folks. Pictures can be deceiving.

In actuality...

I am tired

I am emo

...and feel like I'm going to give birth to my uterus - not that I know what that feels like or anything - but I imagine it would feel something like I do now. Oy. But no need to worry...I've got my hot water bottle and dark chocolate on hand. I've also exercised...TWICE muthafuckas....I did...

Pilates...and I got low, got low...(like Lil Jon)

...and then some Hot Yoga. 


I sweat my itty bitty titties off and it felt phenomenal...that was naughty. Isn't titties dirtier than boobies? It is, but I like both. Both are a lot of fun to say. <wink wink>


So <pause>...I feel better, I am managing, but I am fragile and THAT'S OKAY. I'm cool with it. There's no use fighting it. I gotta work with what I got and make the best of it...ya feel me? 

The take away here is if and when you feel like h-e-double-hockey sticks (also fun to say) or you want to eyeball murder everyone around you, remember that... 


...or perhaps, put more eloquently, listen to my boo Eckhart.

Yeeeeaaaaaah, Buddy. That's a grain of truth right there.


Before I say peace, you have to know that I (finally) obliged and got ramen with HBunny over the weekend. Yes, ramen...HOT ramen in this cool 90 degree weather.

For those unfamiliar with the likes and dislikes of HB, know that he is obsessed with ramen, and, if it were up to him, would eat it every. single. day.

We went to Ivan Ramen in the East Village. It was fabulous. (bytheway, Ivan is a white, Jewish dude. Amazingness).

There I am! Chopsticks were up. I was ready to plunge into some noodles in a salt bath.


And now here is HB...polishing off what remained of my shoyu ramen. 


Oh my sweet little husband....I love him so. heart

...and I love you, too. I'm out. Time to teach like an oss boss.

kissMuchoes Besos Pequenoskiss